League of Extraordinary Gentlewomen?
by HaloBlack
Summary: One of Nemo's inventions blows up, leading to a few problems for the League. Ment to be funny, so don't kill me if the charicters are ocasionaly OOC.
1. Default Chapter

League of Extraodinary Gentlewomen?  
  
If you are reading this I have probaly been hunted down and beaten to death with live chinchillas, by a large lynch mob of rabid League of Extraodinary Gentlemen fans. Why? Because the league are acting incredibly out of charicter in this fic. Also my appologys to anyone called Dora.  
  
All people who send flames will have their email addresses given to Mr Edward Hyde. Nuff' said.  
  
Also, I've had to shorten names.  
  
Allen Quartemain: Quartermain  
  
Mina Harker: Mina  
  
Dr. Henry Jekyll and Mister Edward Hyde: Jekyll and Hyde  
  
Captin Nemo: Nemo (aar ladie, have ye seen me parrot?)  
  
Dorian Grey: Dorian  
  
Tom Sawyer: Tom  
  
The Invisible Man: Mr Skinner/Skinner.  
  
____________________  
  
**In an up-market hotel in Dover the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (and Mina) have all gathered around a stupidly small table to discuss their latest mission.**  
  
Quatermain: So, what peril are we faceing today?  
  
Mina: Er...  
  
Quartermain: Is it treason?! Good God!  
  
Mina: Actualy I don't know.  
  
Everyone: WHAT?  
  
Quartermain: Good God!  
  
Mina: *crosses her arms and frowns* Bond hasn't told me yet, he just said to be ready!  
  
**The League are shocked, especialy Quartermain.Eventualy a couple of the League loose interest in being shocked. Jekyll turns to a nearby mirror to have an argument with Hyde and Nemo starts to rumage around in a bag he has with him.**  
  
Nemo: Look. I have here an invention that may help us in our mission!  
  
Dorian: Good greif man! We don't even know what it is yet!!  
  
Quartermain: Good God!  
  
Dorian: *punches Quartermain, knocking him out cold*  
  
Mina: How vulger  
  
Dorian: Don't you start, or I'll knock you out too.  
  
Mina: *getting a little pissy* C'mon girly boy! If you think yer 'ard enough!  
  
Everyone: O.O  
  
**Meanwhile, obliviouse to whats going on, Jekyll and Hyde are still argueing**  
  
Jekyll: How many times do I have to tell you Edward, I will not put on high heels and hot pants. And I sure as hell won't dance for you.  
  
Hyde: You little shit Henry, its not like I ask for much is it?!  
  
Jekyll: *sobs* You just don't understand me Edward! All I really want is a cuddle!  
  
Hyde: You big wussy!  
  
Skinner: Yeah, ya big wussy  
  
Jekyll & Hyde: YOU STAY OUT OF THIS! *slaps Skinner*  
  
_______________________________________  
  
Well thats the end of this chapter. Will we ever find out what peril the gang are faceing? Will Quartermain ever stop saying "Good God?" Will Nemo ever get to show of his new invention? Will Dr Jekyll ever get his cuddle? Tune into the next chapter to find out. 


	2. Jelly & IceCream

League of Extraordinary Gentlewomen  
  
Yes people, the horror continues  
  
Allen Quartemain: Quartermain  
  
Mina Harker: Mina  
  
Dr. Henry Jekyll and Mister Edward Hyde: Jekyll and Hyde  
  
Captin Nemo: Nemo (A pirates life for me! Arrrr!)  
  
Dorian Grey: Dorian  
  
Tom Sawyer: Tom  
  
The Invisible Man: Mr Skinner/Skinner.  
  
____________________________  
  
**Last time we saw our heros they...er...well to tell the truth they weren't really doing much. Nemo finaly pulls his new invention from his bag. It looks like a jelly with cables sticking out of it. Every so often it changes colour.**  
  
Skinner: Looks like a jelly ta me.  
  
Nemo: *talking through gritted teeth* Its. Not. A. Jelly.  
  
Skinner: Yeah it is. Look, you've even used one of those bunny rabbit shaped jelly molds.  
  
Nemo: NOT! JELLY!   
  
**While Nemo and Skinner are argueing over the Jelly, Dorian has got bored. He's also got a black eye from Mina (whos currently sitting in a corner, looking smug). Noticing everyone is ignoring him he goes to bully Jekyll. Jekyll is still by the mirror, argueing with Hyde.**  
  
Jekyll: *to Hyde* No! How many times do I have to tell you!  
  
Dorian: Dr Jekyll?  
  
Jekyll: *still talking to Hyde* I don't care how much you spent on that thong, I refuse to wear it.  
  
Hyde: Grrrrrr...  
  
Jekyll: Look, its all lacy and itchy! *honds up a lacy, pastil blue coloured thong*  
  
Hyde: *Drools*  
  
Dorian: Ugh! *winces* Must...fight...scary mental image...  
  
Jekyll: This coming from a big girly boy who spends most of his time staring at Mr Sawyer's bum.  
  
Dorian: . Argh! A hundred pounds says you never saw that.  
  
Jekyll: *narrows eyes* £200.  
  
Dorian: £150  
  
Jekyll: £170 and a bag of jelly babys!  
  
Dorian: Done!  
  
**Quartermain meanwhile has woken up and has started to clean his shotgun while giving Dorian nasty looks. Then Tom walks in with a large tub of Ben & Jerrys ice cream. Don't ask me what flavour it is, cause I have no bloody idea!**   
  
Tom: Hey guys, sorry I'm late.  
  
Mina: That is quite alright Mr Sawyer, its not like were were doing anything anyway.  
  
Tom: Well I bought some ice-cream to apologise...  
  
Skinner: Mmmm! Jelly and ice-cream. ^_^  
  
Nemo: AAARRRGGGGHHHHHH! ITS NOT JELLY YOU SON OF A CAMEL!  
  
Tom: *notices Nemo's new gadget* Oh, Nemo bought Jello...  
  
Nemo: AAAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!! *falls to the ground, twitching*  
  
Jekyll: So...er...*steps over Captin Nemo* what flavour ice-cream is it?  
  
Tom: Gee, I dunno...even the authoress dosen't know.  
  
**Unseen by the rest of the League, mainly because their not paying attention, Dorian has advanced apon Tom with an ice-cream scoop.**  
  
Dorian: Give me that! *snatches ice-cream* I'll find out what flavour it is!   
  
Tom: Okay, sure Dorian.  
  
Dorian: Okay, lets see what we've got here...  
  
Jekyll and Skinner: Yay! Jelly and Ice-cream.  
  
Nemo: *from the floor* AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!  
  
Mina: My...what an exentric performance.  
  
**Dorian scoops out a big scoop of the ice-cream and drops it on the jelly. The ice-cream makes a splat noise as it conects with the jelly. The Jelly...EXPLODES!**  
  
Quartermain: Good God!  
  
Jekyll: Mmmmm! Cookie-dough ice-cream.  
  
Nemo: YYYAAARRRGHHHH! ICE-CREAM!   
  
Jekyll: Yeah, and I'm covered in it...ick!  
  
Hyde: Your covered in ice-cream? GET BACK IN FRONT OF THE DAMN MIRROR!!!!  
  
Quartermain: Tough luck Hyde, he's still fully clothed.  
  
Hyde: . Curses, foiled again!  
  
_________________________  
  
Hyde covered in yummy cookie-dough Ben & Jerrys? Explodeing jelly? Lacy, itchy thongs? Good God, what will happen next? Tune into the next chapter to find out. You never know, we might even discover where Tom managed to get a tub of Ben & Jerrys in Victorian era London! 


	3. Skinner's dream come true

League of Extraordinary Gentlewomen  
  
I appologise to everyone female out there in advance. I'm a girl myself, so don't kill me. Theres nothing wrong with an invisible man being please to have bussoms.  
  
Allen Quartemain: Quartermain  
  
Mina Harker: Mina  
  
Dr. Henry Jekyll and Mister Edward Hyde: Jekyll and Hyde  
  
Captin Nemo: Nemo (Never smile at a crocadile.)  
  
Dorian Grey: Dorian  
  
Tom Sawyer: Tom  
  
The Invisible Man: Mr Skinner/Skinner.  
  
________________________________  
  
** It take our heros a little time to pull themselves together after the explosion. Soon they are looking aound them in dismay. Everything is covered in jelly and ice-cream.**  
  
Quartermain: I say Nemo old chap, what are those things on your chest?  
  
Nemo: *looks around* Bugger. The complex chemicels contained in my invention...  
  
Skinner: Jelly.  
  
Nemo: ...INVENTION have caused us all to grow...  
  
Skinner: BOOBIES!  
  
Nemo: *sighs* Breasts...  
  
Skinner: I HAVE BOOBIES!  
  
**And indeed he does! The League (well, the boys) all looks down at the protruding chests in horror. Dorian's too busy staring at Skinner, who was only wearing a hat and a smile at the time of the explosion.**  
  
Dorian: Er...thats not all we've got.  
  
Skinner: I HAVE BOOBIES! THIS IS THE HAPPYIST DAY OF MY LIFE! *grabs one of his boobies*  
  
Mina: How vulger!  
  
Skinner: MY DREAM HAS FINALY COME TRUE!!!!  
  
Mina: You...wanted to be a...girl?  
  
Skinner: My parents always wanted a little girl. *sobs* They'll be so proud of me!  
  
Mina: ¬_¬ They won't if they see you running around wearing only ice-cream...  
  
Nemo: And grabbing yourself.  
  
**The League become silent for a few moments. Except for Skinner, who's too busy jumping around and being pleased with himself. Suddenly Quartermain has a terrifying thought.**  
  
Quartermain: What if these things get in the way when I'm shooting!?   
  
**Everyone stares at him, stunned to have had the honor of witnessing the only sensible thought Allen Quartermain has had so far in this fanfic. Tom is so surprised that he faints and suffocates on his own breasts.**  
  
___________________________________  
  
Suffocation by boob, what a nasty way to go. I appologise for the shortness of this chapter, but I wrote it out before going out with some friends, so I was in a rush. Thanx to everyone who's stuck with the fic so far, and tune in for the next installment. 


End file.
